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NYT Columnists Collectively MELT DOWN, Admit To ‘Weeping’ After Trump-Biden Debate

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Hysteria floated throughout the thought bubbles of the New York Times’ leading opinion-makers Friday morning as they struggled to compose themselves following a landslide loss by President Joe Biden in his first debate.

The Daily Caller showered itself in schadenfreude while describing the “weeping” writings of liberal columnists who had a fitful night’s sleep and awoke nearly at a loss for words over how to characterize just how badly Biden had performed. From the Caller:

The Times published headlines Friday morning calling on the president to step down from the 2024 race. Twelve writers ranked the candidates’ performance and came to an overall conclusion that Trump left the debate victorious.

One of those twelve writers, John Barro, said Biden “failed at his key task” by proving to voters he is still fit to serve a second term. Most of the writers, including David French, said Trump won by the debate by a landslide.

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Another, former Huffington Post editor-in-chief Lydia Polgreen, called the two-hour debate a “debacle for Biden.”

“He was barely audible at times. He flubbed answers on his strongest issues, from abortion to democracy. Trump just lied, lied and lied, and no one — certainly not the moderators and, worse, not even Biden — rebutted him in the smallest way. Trump blustered and glowered. He attacked Biden viciously and looked like a bully. This is the choice Americans are facing. This was a disaster for America,” she wrote.

Thomas Friedman, the longtime hack who gained notoriety after making comically wrong predictions about globalization, admitted he cried after watching Biden struggle his way through a devastating series of attacks by Trump. “I watched the Biden-Trump debate alone in a Lisbon hotel room, and it made me weep. I cannot remember a more heartbreaking moment in American presidential campaign politics in my lifetime, precisely because of what it revealed: Joe Biden, a good man and a good president, has no business running for re-election,” Friedman wrote Friday morning.

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“I had been ready to give Biden the benefit of the doubt up to now, because during the times I engaged with him one on one, I found him up to the job. He clearly is not any longer,” Friedman continued. “His family and his staff had to have known that. They have been holed up at Camp David preparing for this momentous debate for days now. If that is the best performance they could summon from him, it’s time for Joe to keep the dignity he deserves and leave the stage at the end of this term.”

Contributing writer Frank Bruni concluded that Biden was “incapable” of making coherent rebuttals against Trump’s claims and seemed “frozen” in his demeanor while leaving his jaw hanging and mouth open for most of the debate.

“But from the moment the debate began, he seemed unsteady. Off. His expression was often frozen. His voice was often flat. He garbled words. He corrected himself midsentence, over and over again. He’d clearly memorized key talking points — key phrases — but he repeatedly used them without providing adequate context, swerved from one to another without any transition, halted sentences before they reached their destination, started sentences without giving them any bearings,” Bruni wrote.

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