BREAKING: Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s Leadership Replacement Officially Announced

It’s official, folks. House Democrats voted on Wednesday to make Rep. Hakeem Jeffries their leader in the next Congress, replacing the now 82-year-old Speaker Nancy Pelosi. It’s too bad she won’t just completely retire and go away. I think we’ve all had about enough of Nancy, wouldn’t you agree? I mean, if she were to fade from the public light, she and hubby Paul could have happy hour all day, every day, and frolic with gay male prostitutes to their heart’s content.

According to a report published by Fox News, “Jeffries won the post in an uncontested election after Pelosi and the two other incumbent members of the Democratic leadership, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer and Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, opted to step down. Jeffries, a 52-year-old New Yorker, will be the first African American to serve as House Democratic leader.”

Jeffries went on to say, “Leadership is incredibly important. When we get an opportunity as diverse leaders to serve in positions of consequence, the most meaningful thing we can do in that space is an incredibly good job.”

“House Democrats also elected Massachusetts Rep. Katherine Clark to serve as Democratic Whip. California Rep. Pete Aguilar was elected to serve as chairman of the House Democratic caucus. Both Clark and Aguilar served in leadership under Pelosi for the past two years,” Fox continued.

“Effective leadership is not about individual ambition, but our collective good. It is about truly listening and understanding what each member needs to be successful,” Clark stated. “I will use my voice at the leadership table to bring people and solutions together.”

Pelosi announced stepping down as the leader just after Democrats lost control of the House during the midterm elections at the beginning of November. The decision created the first open race for Democratic Party leader since she took the role back in 2003.

“For me, the hour has come for a new generation to lead the Democratic caucus that I so deeply respect, and I’m grateful that so many are ready and willing to shoulder this awesome responsibility,” Pelosi went on to comment earlier this month.

But guess what guys? We’re not getting rid of Pelosi completely. Unfortunately. She’s going to remain just a plain, regular member of the House. Boy, I bet that’s a real shot to the lady’s ego.

“It’s going to be a little awkward,” one senior Democratic aide stated. “Pelosi has had such a tight grip on the conference for so long. Every time that Jeffries does something that people don’t agree with, they’ll look towards Pelosi.”

Jeffries stated that he isn’t at all troubled by the congresswoman’s decision to stay as a member of the House.

“She’s not going to be the type of individual that’s looking over the shoulders of those leaders that she just helped to elevate,” he said.

Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion that Pelosi is still going to have some influence and sway over things that go down within the party inside the House. When you look at her age and then realize she’s not willing to retire completely, you have to assume it’s because she still plans on being a major influence within the party.