On Wednesday, PETA, otherwise known as “People Eating Tasty Animals” or the official name “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” (I prefer the first), proved once again that not all humans should be at the top of the food chain. PETA has long been recognized as one of the biggest turds in the punchbowl for their cringeworthy, often misguidedly offensive ads intended to sway people away from using animal products. The reaction they generally get isn’t nearly as kind, especially from the animals on social media.
PETA has been well known for their stunts over the years. While there are numerous causes both socially, economically and morally, they choose to bitch about someone wearing leather shoes or a fur coat or enjoying, you guessed it, Thanksgiving dinner. On Wednesday, which is increasingly earning the ‘Thanksgiving Eve” moniker, PETA did it again, and this time it was more cringeworthy than usual. Check this out.
PETA went off the rails on social media for Thanksgiving.
While most of us were enjoying quality time with family and friends, some great food and a few cold adult drinks along the way, PETA decided to go into full send mode on Twitter a day earlier with a tweet that needs to be seen to be believed.
The organization dedicated to convincing people animals are our equals tweeted a photo of three turkeys carving up the body of a cooked human.
If you think that sounds comically bad, the actual tweet is even worse, as seen below.
POV: The dinner tables turned & a family is gathering around your dead body to share why they’re thankful. pic.twitter.com/CWKqLzZv1g
— PETA (@peta) November 23, 2022
There is so much wrong with that tweet that it’s almost impossible to take seriously or even get offended. Let’s try. Firstly, turkeys don’t have opposable thumbs. Does PETA think we are stupid? (They do). Secondly, turkeys lay eggs, I think. The female bird in the tweet is clearly pregnant with some sort of weird, hybrid-turkey person. Thirdly, why are these poor birds being forced into gender roles? The turkey daughter is wearing a nice, pink button-down sweater, and turkey mom is wearing a pink dress. Did PETA give any thought at all to how trans and queer turkeys might feel about this? I think not! Fourthly, if that is actually a word, clearly the turkey family is eating a human baby. The line has to be drawn somewhere. Humans do not eat baby turkeys, or even turkey eggs for that matter. Perhaps we should start? Perhaps humankind should make a preemptive strike against turkey culture everywhere. One idea would be to release some sort of virus that would weed out the turkey population and cause mass turkey hysteria. Worked pretty well with #teampeople. Perhaps this is revenge for the Cincinnati massacre 45 years ago?
45 years ago, dozens of turkeys met their unfortunate demise in a Cincinnati parking lot.
— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) November 23, 2022
Of course as always, the animals on Twitter, even Elon’s newfangled “free speech” Twitter, are more savage than PETA or turkeys ever dreamed of being.
thats why we kill them first https://t.co/Br2X619TZm
— sloush ☆ (@NazrinRat) November 25, 2022
Can’t stop laughing at the pregnant turkey mom’s bellybutton. https://t.co/iRQ52kf2WF
— David Lytle (@davitydave) November 24, 2022
As a species, it remains to be seen what can be done about the coming turk-pocalypse. Until then, head on a swivel. While they may indeed mostly be flightless birds, that doesn’t mean they are harmless. At least judging by how I felt after eating turkey yesterday, we may all be in trouble someday.